"Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name"

I saw "Skeleton Key" last night, starring Kate Hudson.  It was really really good.  You can't knock seeing a movie opening night, that hasn't been over hyped, that is one of those sleeper hits.  It's a pleasant surprise when you're really entertained by a movie these days.  Excellent movie.  At the risk of over-hyping it --- go see it, it's damn good.

Tomorrow is my family picnic.  A rare tradition that has survived the years though is has lost some of that magic.  We all get together, eat an obcene amount of corn on the grill, and participate in an egg toss that nobody wants to do anymore, only my mother makes them.  The key players aren't really there anymore (my grandpa, my aunt marie, and others who have passed away).  Instead they're replaced with their children and their grandchildren who look at the family picnic as an obligation, which takes the fun right out of it.  But, still... when you get everybody there... you can't deny the moments.  Everybody does have fun in the egg toss (whether or not they care to admit it).  Plus without it, I would only see my Aunt Joanne and the rest at Thanksgiving and maybe a wake or funeral service during the year.  What has happened to family these days?  It seems like people spend too much time making opinions about the way their family lives their lives than truly enjoying it together.  People make mistakes.  They are trying to live and grow as we are.  We aren't perfect.  There are no do-overs in life and if we can't expect our families to forgive and love us unconditionally then how can we expect others to?

I feel like lately everybody has an opinion about how I spend my time.  What's in a fish tank or even an insurance card for that matter?  Because I can't remember the last time I scrutinized someone for something they did.  I think in the past year, I have started living for the first time.  I realized that it takes me an incredibly long time to order in a restaurant, not because of the menu, but because I never make a decision on my own.  When forced with the situation of having to do so, I'm terrified and I mull it over FOREVER.  My point isn't that my family is to blame for my fickle ways... it's just that we shouldn't blame anyone too long for anything.  And when they make a decision you don't agree with... please forgive them.  It's those mistakes and bad decisions that helps us grow as people.  I look back at all my mistakes in life and I am sad about them.  But, it makes me appreciate the blessings in my life like my girlfriend and the honest love we have for one another.  I never treasured a virtue like fidelity until now.  I made a disaster of my first attempt at love by making horrible decisions that really destroyed that entire relationship.  I learned from it.  I got what I deserved and I learned from it.  Then I met someone, who truly was the first person who lived by this thing called fidelity.  She challenges me every day and its amazing how she continues to forgive me.  It's all I could ever wish for in a best friend and lover.  Because I am going to trip through life a little and take extra long to order at a restaurant, but she understands.  All she asks is that I am honest and I love her.  And I do.  I treasure fidelity now because I have seen what happens when you don't, and I have seen what happens when you do.  I guess my point is... even if she made a mistake and something happened... I know I would forgive her.  It's life... and we're family.  All I ask is that's she's honest and love me.